We all get fed up to varying degrees from time to time about some events in our lives but depression is much more intense than that. If you, or someone you know, is suffering from a number of the symptoms from the list below, then it is likely that it has become depression. Any negative  event in our lives has the potential to kick-start a downward spiral into depression if left unchecked or unresolved. Most of us, with support, will manage to work through things over time, but a loss in one area of our lives can cause us to be less motivated about other things until that too becomes a loss and lessens our resolve to keep going. Each loss or withdrawal from any of the important areas in our lives will decrease the level of “Seratonin” in our systems and subsequently life becomes progressively harder. The chemical “Seratonin” produced by our brain is responsible for our mood factor and our level of motivation, and under normal circumstances if we are living a fairly satisfying lifestyle, this level is healthily maintained.

A satisfying lifestyle doesn’t necessarily mean having lots of fun but this could be doing anything that gives us a feeling of satifaction, such as getting a sense of purpose through our jobs, being a parent, being in a loving relationship that is supportive, a fun or satisfying sport or pastime. If your lifestyle includes a level of exercise and a fairly healthy and balanced diet then it is very unlikely that depression will take hold, but anyone of us could be vulnerable when unexpected events take place in our lives.

It is easy to see how it could become a vicious circle, with each loss in our lives reducing our “Seratonin” levels, and with reduced levels this lowers our mood factor even more, and consequently diminishing our motivation still further.

Some of the common symptoms connected to depression

Always grumpy, never seeing any good in anything
Complaining of regular headaches or other pains
Cannot make a decision
Constantly feeling sad
Constently feeling fed up
Constently feeling life is pointless
Feeling restless
Feeling that nothing really matters anymore
Feeling worthless
Frequent thoughts of suicide
Interrupted and unsatisfying sleeping pattern
Lack of any hope that things will improve
Loss  of energy
Loss interest in doing things that were fun
Loss of appetite or overeating
Loss of energy
Loss of sexual appetite
Low self esteem
Nothing seems to be fun anymore
Pointless physical movements such as pacing up and down, rocking in chair, tapping fingers
Regularly feeling iritable
Struggling to concentrate or remember things

One theory while depression is on the increase in modern life

Sadly depression has become a very widespread result of modern life. In the first half of the last century families tended to live in close proximity to each other and provided a supportive network. Regardless of the problem there would be someone in the family who could help resolve it. Some men used to mock the women of the day, curlers in their hair and scarves on their heads chatting over the garden fence to their neighbours but this provided a healthy outlet for things on their mind. When expressing their woes and getting a sympathetic response the tension was lessened, making counsellors largely unnecessary. An important point to make is that although a natural desire for the finer things in life was there, expectations of owning their homes and fancy consumer goods was realistically matched to what was affordable. In contrast to today where we are constantly bombarded with “things” that we just can’t live without and really ought to have. Homes, cars, holidays, tv, audio units, computers, time saving or fun gadgets, social life etc.

Although on one level most of us are very aware of advertising hype and its lure, we nevertheless still get caught up in it and try to stretch our finances and often put immense pressure on our selves. We are bought up to believe that everyone ought to own their own home despite the average price of a small house costing something like a quarter of million pounds. That price represents something like 13 years work for the average person without paying for anything else at all during that period.

So with greater expectations for owning consumer goods and having an extravagant life style to live up to and other factors such as increased pressure to perform in our jobs, to become better qualified and to enjoy a rich social life the increased pressure is immense and it is no wonder that we end believing that somehow we are just not good enough and a failure.

Is the cure Medicine or Counselling ?

Personally I believe that the two together are ideal if depression has taken a deep hold or if caught in the early stages then counselling alone can easily do the job. The reason I believe that, is when in the grip of depression, the modern anti-depressants can take the edge off it sufficiently to allow the victims to engage in the therapy. For people who are very anti-pills then it is entirely possible to be healed without them but maybe more difficult to get started. Although it is my experience that clients who are against medication are generally more motivated to get better and therefore it is not a problem.

The point of counselling for depression is to get a person’s life back on track by helping them get motivated to go forward and to find the necessary resources to prevent it happening again in the future. Once the client’s life is back on track, or moving forward in a different direction and they are gaining a sense of satisfaction, then the “Seratonin” balance will be restored naturally by the brain.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.

I think one of the main reasons it seems to be so difficult for some people to forgive others is the belief that if they forgive someone for their crimes, sins, diabolical behaviour, outrageous actions or in your case their obviously unjust, slanderous and hurtful remarks then somehow you are then condoning their actions.

My first point is simply this, that by forgiving someone is has nothing whatsoever to do with condoning their actions. How could you possibly condone something so obviously wrong? The answer is that you could not do that; it just would not make any sense.

The real point of forgiveness is to release you from the bonds of hatred. By not forgiving someone you then hold on to that hatred and it slowly but surely eats you up inside like a cancer. Over a period of time this spills into all aspects of your life and begins to contaminate and destroy your ability to enjoy or engage with anything in a meaningful way.

My second point is that forgiveness is for you and not the offending party or parties.

The question then arises if forgiveness is a good thing and it is entirely for your benefit then how do we go about achieving this desirable aim?

I believe this can be done with a simple 3-point plan as follows.

1. We make a decision to forgive the transgressors.
2. We act as if the decision we made is already true.
3. Then after a short period of time acting this way it becomes true.

Too simple?  Too easy?

I agree it sounds far too easy for it to work but consider the following :

1.  Making the decision is easy enough if we can agree with the premise that it is good for us. So at this point it is only an intellectual decision but obviously at first we don’t feel any different at all. All the original pain and feelings of injustice have not gone away but to reverse this situation we need to start somewhere.

The starting place is in our head just by making the decision on what we know to be right for our sanity and not on what we feel we want to do.

2.  This part is not quite so easy but definitely not impossible. What we need to do is to merely act as if the decision we have made is real. Although it feels false and unnatural at this stage the mere pretence begins to enter our minds as a possibility of becoming real. What we are using is the mind’s natural ability to set up and maintain habits and then make our responses automatic without consciously thinking about them. An example of this might be every time a thought enters our mind about the offending party or the hurt caused by the event we choose to instantly act as if the decision to forgive and let go of the past events is real. Obviously at first this takes an enormous effort to do this but only because it does not feel right. However if we do it anyway because we believe it is for our benefit and not the transgressors then in a relatively short time it will gradually move from being a conscious effort to becoming an unconscious effort. That is how all habits become established by sheer repetition of actions or behaviours until we do them without thinking. An excellent example of this is when learn to drive a car, at first we force our actions consciously until we have mastered them without apparently even thinking about them at all. How often have you arrived at your destination and thought to yourself on arrival “I do not remember driving the last few miles, how did I get here safely?”

So this is where we make a choice to forgive and move on and then act as if it is true and gradually we create a new habit that is automatic and no longer an effort at all.

3.  So we can see that eventually forgiveness and freedom can actually become true by forcing ourselves to act in a manner that we would have chosen for ourselves a long time ago if it had of been easy.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.

Obsessions with Order and Symmetry
Obsessed with the need to ensure that things are placed in a certain order, symmetrically or “perfect” in some way. OCD victims would become concerned that something would happen to their loved ones because of their less than perfect actions. Often victims cannot even express what may happen, they just “know” it would be something bad and it would be their fault. The OCD sufferer can become extremely distressed if things are touched or moved, this can cause their fear or anxiety to go sky high.

Obsession with Contamination
Constantly living in fear of being contaminated, frequently washing and cleaning themselves or objects around them. The sheer dread of being contaminated in some way leads sufferers to avoid many normal situations and spend endless amounts of time unnecessarily cleaning and not stopping until it “just feels right” to quit. As time goes on their awareness continually expands for potential situations where germs could be a danger.

Obsessions with Health
Usually without any medical evidence to back it up but experiencing serious worries and concerns that maybe a life threatening disease is developing in them or their loved ones.

Obsessions with Religion or morality
The victims in this category demand so much more of himself or herself than anyone else. This leads them to constantly seek out reassurance from others of the integrity of their own actions and to be obsessed with purity. Regardless of how fervently these ideals are sought it rarely brings any sense of satisfaction or relief.

Pure Obsessional
“Pure O” as it is often referred to, is a particularly nasty and distressing form of OCD for its victims. The victim is often bombarded with intrusive and horrendous images of causing harm to others. This harm is usually of a violent or sexual nature but completely repulsive to the sufferer and the last thing that in reality they would actually do. Despite the proven facts that the OCD victims never carry out these actions the very nature of the “doubting disease” bombards their minds and makes them question themselves that maybe they are evil or bad people.

Compulsions to hoard things
Emotional attachments can be formed to almost any type of object by OCD sufferers. This is carried out in a vague belief that somehow they may become useful in the future. The thought of discarding these often-worthless objects fills the sufferer with intense feelings of discomfort, making it nearly impossible to let go of them.

Compulsions to do rituals in order to feel less anxious, safer etc.
Constantly changing, expanding and adding even more rituals to the list as time goes on, in a fruitless attempt to feel safe and less anxious. The problem is having done the rituals the victim does get some temporary relief from their suffering and this perpetuates the belief that it has to be done. Sadly it never goes away on it’s own and without treatment will get worse.

OCD is definitely treatable
Not so long ago OCD was thought to be an untreatable psychiatric condition but fortunately that is no longer the case today. Through specialised counselling there is a tried and trusted method that can free OCD sufferers from their chains and get their lives back the way that it should be. There is no need nowadays to live the restricted life that is an integral part of OCD. The “doubting disease” can be defeated and the sufferer put back in control, often better and stronger than before.

Treatment with KC Counselling will also include some free phone support outside of the counselling sessions.

Sleep is a perfectly natural way of refreshing the mind and body and if it is interrupted in any way we pay the price. When we are tired everything that we attempt to do seems to be so much harder. Obviously it is wise to get checked out physically first to ensure that there isn’t anything going wrong organically that could easily put things right. Once you are sure that it is not a physical problem that is preventing you from getting a good nights rest then you know it has be a psychological one.