Keith Counselling

Need to talk?

  
 


Counselling  *   Hypnotherapy   *   EMDR
to resolve any emotional/psychological issue including the following

 


Addictions
Every one of us is susceptible to forming an addiction to anything that gives us pleasure. Learn in counselling how the mind tries to trick you into a negative cycle of false needs and desires, and in the process, your real emotional needs are not only suppressed, leaving us unfulfilled, but seriously sabotaged. When in the grip of addictive behaviour, we are unable to generate our natural abilities to achieve what we really need to live a satisfying and fulfilling life. Counselling and hypnosis can help you get your life back on track and free from being enslaved to unhealthy substances or activities.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.



Anger Management
Anger itself is not always a destructive emotion, indeed righteous anger can be very productive, when it motivates us to react positively to it, and therefore resolve or improve our situation. However when we react disproportionately to people or events, or find ourselves too frequently experiencing and expressing anger, or even just constantly feeling angry, then it is likely that we have a more deep rooted problem that appears to be driving us.

Through brief counselling, understand your anger, by learning how the mind works so that you can get it working for you rather than against you. It is not always the events themselves necessarily that causes the anger but more likely to do with some deep rooted belief that can distort the way we feel. So by challenging some of those deeply held, and often hidden beliefs, we can gain control over our anger and use it beneficially.

Once you appreciate that change is definately possible and much easier than a lot of people believe, you can quickly gain control and deal with your anger more productively.

The sessions will include hypnosis to give you an instant relaxation technique whenever the need arises. The reason for this is because whenever we become emotionally aroused we shut out the higher cortex (which is just a posh way of saying we close off our clear thinking brain). When we are calm we have full access to our thinking brain and can make good decisions about how to react to each situation.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.

 

Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease , and is typically about an imminent event or something in the future with an uncertain outcome. Anxiety is a natural part of all our lives, and on occasions, can actually be quite a useful emotion. An example of this could be feeling anxious about a forthcoming exam or test, and then using that anxiety to motivate us to study harder or in some way prepare better.  However when fear, worry and anxiety become unnecessarily exaggerated it can immobilise the victim and seriously interfere with their daily lives.

Anxiety is different to fear, in that it is about something in the future that hasn’t even happened yet, or it could even be just a general feeling of worry. Fears however, occur in the present, and are usually about much more specific events or situations happening now or about to happen. When people are suffering from a General Anxiety Disorder they may become anxious without there even appearing to be any actual reason, or it could be about a real situation, but totally out of proportion to how most people might react.

If your anxiety is preventing you from living your life, as you know you should be living it, then therapy can restore your life by helping you to find the confidence you need to cope much better.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Bereavement
When someone we loves dies it can be one of the most painful experiences that we have ever suffered. It can seem to the person left behind as if their lives have ended too and that there is no  longer any real meaning to their own lives anymore. The bereaved person can be in a state of shock or trauma for some time as the disbelief is too much to bear. Everyone handles bereavement differently, often just going through the motions of living in a kind of robotic fashion, whereas others can act as if nothing has happened for a while in an effort to come to terms with it. It is not unusual for the bereaved person to think that they have seen their loved one in different places.

People don’t really know what to say to the bereaved person and often with the best of intentions can even make things worse, sometimes even avoiding them completely. Without support and true understanding from family and friends, bereavement can easily lead to depression.

The help and support of an understanding counsellor can show the bereaved person that what they are going through is perfectly normal, and they are not going crazy and that it follows a process, that although different for everyone, has a structured pattern. Sometimes even a couple of sessions is all a bereaved person needs to recognise what they are going through, and to allow the grieving process to take it’s natural course. Other times it can expose difficult unresolved issues that are preventing the process from moving forward.

The counselling process frequently involves working through feelings of guilt, such as a misguided belief that they could somehow have prevented it from happening. Unfinished business, such as things not said will need to be worked through before the process of grieving can be engaged.

The harsh truth is that bereavement is not something you ever get over, but in time it is possible to come through it and eventually come to terms with it and enjoy the memories of the deceased without disintegrating emotionally.


Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Confidence Issues

Sorry currently being updated

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Depression
We all get fed up to varying degrees from time to time about some events in our lives but depression is much more intense than that. If you, or someone you know, is suffering from a number of the symptoms from the list below, then it is likely that it has become depression. Any negative  event in our lives has the potential to kick-start a downward spiral into depression if left unchecked or unresolved. Most of us, with support, will manage to work through things over time, but a loss in one area of our lives can cause us to be less motivated about other things until that too becomes a loss and lessens our resolve to keep going. Each loss or withdrawal from any of the important areas in our lives will decrease the level of “Seratonin” in our systems and subsequently life becomes progressively harder. The chemical “Seratonin” produced by our brain is responsible for our mood factor and our level of motivation, and under normal circumstances if we are living a fairly satisfying lifestyle, this level is healthily maintained.

A satisfying lifestyle doesn’t necessarily mean having lots of fun but this could be doing anything that gives us a feeling of satisfaction, such as getting a sense of purpose through our jobs, being a parent, being in a loving relationship that is supportive, a fun or satisfying sport or pastime. If your lifestyle includes a level of exercise and a fairly healthy and balanced diet then it is very unlikely that depression will take hold, but anyone of us could be vulnerable when unexpected events take place in our lives.

It is easy to see how it could become a vicious circle, with each loss in our lives reducing our “Seratonin” levels, and with reduced levels this lowers our mood factor even more, and consequently diminishing our motivation still further.


Some of the common symptoms connected to depression
Always grumpy, never seeing any good in anything
Complaining of regular headaches or other pains
Cannot make a decision
Constantly feeling sad
Constently feeling fed up
Constently feeling life is pointless
Feeling restless
Feeling that nothing really matters anymore
Feeling worthless
Frequent thoughts of suicide
Interrupted and unsatisfying sleeping pattern
Lack of any hope that things will improve
Loss  of energy
Loss interest in doing things that were fun
Loss of appetite or overeating
Loss of energy
Loss of sexual appetite
Low self esteem
Nothing seems to be fun anymore
Pointless physical movements such as pacing up and down, rocking in chair, tapping fingers
Regularly feeling iritable
Struggling to concentrate or remember things


One theory while depression is on the increase in modern life
Sadly depression has become a very widespread result of modern life. In the first half of the last century families tended to live in close proximity to each other and provided a supportive network. Regardless of the problem there would be someone in the family who could help resolve it. Some men used to mock the women of the day, curlers in their hair and scarves on their heads chatting over the garden fence to their neighbours but this provided a healthy outlet for things on their mind. When expressing their woes and getting a sympathetic response the tension was lessened, making counsellors largely unnecessary. An important point to make is that although a natural desire for the finer things in life was there, expectations of owning their homes and fancy consumer goods was realistically matched to what was affordable. In contrast to today where we are constantly bombarded with “things” that we just can’t live without and really ought to have. Homes, cars, holidays, tv, audio units, computers, time saving or fun gadgets, social life etc.

Although on one level most of us are very aware of advertising hype and its lure, we nevertheless still get caught up in it and try to stretch our finances and often put immense pressure on our selves. We are bought up to believe that everyone ought to own their own home despite the average price of a small house costing something like a quarter of million pounds. That price represents something like 13 years work for the average person without paying for anything else at all during that period.

So with greater expectations for owning consumer goods and having an extravagant life style to live up to and other factors such as increased pressure to perform in our jobs, to become better qualified and to enjoy a rich social life the increased pressure is immense and it is no wonder that we end believing that somehow we are just not good enough and a failure.

Is the cure Medicine or Counselling ?
Personally I believe that the two together are ideal if depression has taken a deep hold or if caught in the early stages then counselling alone can easily do the job. The reason I believe that, is when in the grip of depression, the modern anti-depressants can take the edge off it sufficiently to allow the victims to engage in the therapy. For people who are very anti-pills then it is entirely possible to be healed without them but maybe more difficult to get started. Although it is my experience that clients who are against medication are generally more motivated to get better and therefore it is not a problem.

The point of counselling for depression is to get a person’s life back on track by helping them get motivated to go forward and to find the necessary resources to prevent it happening again in the future. Once the client’s life is back on track, or moving forward in a different direction and they are gaining a sense of satisfaction, then the “Seratonin” balance will be restored naturally by the brain.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.

 

OCD

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, often referred to as the “doubting disease” is so much more common than is generally believed and this is due to the guilt and shame felt by its victims, forcing them to keep it a secret. This secrecy, accounts for the fact that most sufferers do not look for help immediately and often leave it for years before they start. The last estimate, a few years ago, suggested that the figures are up to 1 in 40 people suffering with OCD.

As the name suggests it is made up of two elements, Obsessions and Compulsions. Obsessions involve unwanted intrusive thoughts, images or ideas causing people to feel extremely anxious. Compulsions are actions or behaviours in response to that extreme anxiety and often result in repetitive and senseless rituals being carried out in an attempt to somehow remove the anxiety created in the minds of the victims. Sadly the rituals only give very temporary relief and it becomes inevitable, that if left un-challenged, it will gradually get worse, demanding more and more rituals from the sufferer.

Most of us have some element of OCD present in our personalities, things like having a preference for some objects to be positioned a certain way, or occasionally questioning did I leave the fire on, the iron, the radio, or did I lock the door when I left home. Also things like keeping objects we don’t really need, just in case we might. The need to repeatedly count things to make sure, or constantly checking we have the tickets or passports. The list goes on, if we are anxious about something important to us, but generally these are only temporary conditions. It is only when our lives are seriously impaired with these persistent fears, and considerable time spent on pointless rituals to make ourselves feel less anxious, then it has become OCD.

OCD comes in many different forms and although every OCD victim’s case is unique, in many ways there are also an amazing consistency about how it makes people behave in their attempt to get through each day. The following is a list of the most common types of Obsessions and Compulsions. Sufferers are not necessarily restricted to only one type but could have problems from the other categories too.

Obsessions with Checking, Counting things and Repeating some actions
This could be any activity where for the majority of us once is enough. Suffering feelings of being unsafe and being compelled to perform unnecessary counting or checking tasks repeatedly until it “just feels right” to stop. Sometimes OCD demands this to be done a certain number of times but frequently it just needs to be repeated relentlessly until the fear somehow passes on it’s own.

Obsessions with Order and Symmetry
Obsessed with the need to ensure that things are placed in a certain order, symmetrically or “perfect” in some way. OCD victims would become concerned that something would happen to their loved ones because of their less than perfect actions. Often victims cannot even express what may happen, they just “know” it would be something bad and it would be their fault. The OCD sufferer can become extremely distressed if things are touched or moved, this can cause their fear or anxiety to go sky high.

Obsession with Contamination
Constantly living in fear of being contaminated, frequently washing and cleaning themselves or objects around them. The sheer dread of being contaminated in some way leads sufferers to avoid many normal situations and spend endless amounts of time unnecessarily cleaning and not stopping until it “just feels right” to quit. As time goes on their awareness continually expands for potential situations where germs could be a danger.

Obsessions with Health
Usually without any medical evidence to back it up but experiencing serious worries and concerns that maybe a life threatening disease is developing in them or their loved ones.

Obsessions with Religion or morality
The victims in this category demand so much more of himself or herself than anyone else. This leads them to constantly seek out reassurance from others of the integrity of their own actions and to be obsessed with purity. Regardless of how fervently these ideals are sought it rarely brings any sense of satisfaction or relief.

Pure Obsessional
“Pure O” as it is often referred to, is a particularly nasty and distressing form of OCD for its victims. The victim is often bombarded with intrusive and horrendous images of causing harm to others. This harm is usually of a violent or sexual nature but completely repulsive to the sufferer and the last thing that in reality they would actually do. Despite the proven facts that the OCD victims never carry out these actions the very nature of the “doubting disease” bombards their minds and makes them question themselves that maybe they are evil or bad people.

Compulsion to Hoard things
Emotional attachments can be formed to almost any type of object by OCD sufferers. This is carried out in a vague belief that somehow they may become useful in the future. The thought of discarding these often-worthless objects fills the sufferer with intense feelings of discomfort, making it nearly impossible to let go of them.

Compulsions to do rituals in order to feel less anxious, safer etc.
Constantly changing, expanding and adding even more rituals to the list as time goes on, in a fruitless attempt to feel safe and less anxious. The problem is having done the rituals the victim does get some temporary relief from their suffering and this perpetuates the belief that it has to be done. Sadly it never goes away on it’s own and without treatment will get worse.

OCD is definitely treatable
Not so long ago OCD was thought to be an untreatable psychiatric condition but fortunately that is no longer the case today. Through specialised counselling there is a tried and trusted method that can free OCD sufferers from their chains and get their lives back the way that it should be. There is no need nowadays to live the restricted life that is an integral part of OCD. The “doubting disease” can be defeated and the sufferer put back in control, often better and stronger than before.

Treatment with KC Counselling will also include some free phone support outside of the counselling sessions.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Panic Attacks

A panic attack can be a seriously scary and unpleasant experience to endure but once you understand what they are all about then it’s not something you need to live with for much longer. In reality a panic attack is a perfectly natural response to danger and is designed to protect us. The problem is, that without realising it, we can evoke this perfectly normal and natural response to danger. The medical term for it is “The Fight or Flight” response. The brain is designed to respond to dangerous situations by preparing our minds and bodies for a rapid response to assist us to safety. Hence the term “Flight or Fight”, meaning it gives our bodies the extra focussed boost to either get away from the situation, or to stand and face it head on. The problem is however, it is possible that we can trigger off a panic response just by believing that we are in danger, even when the situation is not dangerous in reality. Most people who suffer panic attacks realise that not everyone will see the same  situations as dangerous, not that helps the victim but just adds to their confusion and frustration.

Through brief therapy you will learn exactly what they are, what causes them and more importantly how to prevent them permanently. It is not absolutely necessary but frequently hypnosis forms part of the treatment that you will receive, to give you an instant relaxation technique to use whenever a potential trigger-provoking episode arises. When you are calm and relaxed you can make good decisions to deal with it effectively without having a panic attack.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.

 

Phobias

What is a Phobia ?
There are many definitions to describe a phobia but the one that I think is the most accurate is the one that answers the question   “What is the difference between a fear and a phobia ?.The answer is “at the point when a fear becomes irrational”.

Fear a useful emotion
It is perfectly rational to have a fear of heights, guns, knives, being knock down by a car, being attacked by a gang of thugs, being drowned etc., I am sure the list could be almost endless where death or any kind of harm could be the result. So fear is a useful emotion and can warn or guide us to avoid dangers but when the fear is disproportionate or prevents us from getting on with our life or forces us to avoid situations altogether then it’s a phobia.

Types of phobia
It could get quite complicated but to keep it simple there are basically two types and the
difference between them is they are either a specific or a non-specific phobia. Although Social Phobia despite being a non-specific phobia is in a category of it’s own and covers a wide range of anxiety provoking situations.

Symptoms of a phobia
A phobic response is simply a survival mechanism gone wrong.
Symptoms would most definitely include panic attacks and all that entails.
Total avoidance of the situation or the object in question.

How they occur
Any kind of anxiety state coupled with an object or situation can create the birth of a phobia. An example of this is a famous poet Robert Graves in the Second World War who whilst talking on the telephone a German bomb exploded just outside of his house. From that time onwards he associated telephones with the fear that a bomb might go off.

Why they don’t normally cure themselves
When we learn how the mind works and the way we learn things in our conscious mind and then pass it down to our sub-conscious mind then it will be easy to accept the following statements. Once a pattern has been formed in our minds it then becomes our new and automatic reaction or behaviour. So every time that we repeat a phobic response it just gets confirmed even more
strongly in our subconscious. Through counselling and hypnosis we can reverse the effects by reprogramming ourselves or decoding it in some way.

All phobias can be cured and most phobias quite quickly with counselling and hypnosis.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.

 


Relationship difficulties
Sometimes it seems as if men and woman come from different worlds. So often what our partners do or say, does not make any sense to us at all. It is because instinctively we view things from either a man's world or a woman's world and end up seeing exactly the same situation but in a totally different way. We don't deliberately set out to wind each other up but frequently do and don't understand why. Learn within counselling sessions how to understand each other's point of view, tolerate and accept the differences and work towards making each other happy again. Once your relationship makes sense it is easy to live happily with each other and enjoy life more fully.

Quite often one or sometimes even both partners have unresolved issues from the past that are affecting the relationship. These issues will quickly be picked up and dealt with separately, therefore making the relationship difficulties so much easier to reconcile.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Sexual problems

Sorry currently being updated

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Stress problems

Sorry currently being updated

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Smoking Cessation

Want to quit smoking but just find it too hard ?
Tried many times before and always start again ?
Will power gives out, sometimes even before you manage to quit ?
You know you should stop, but can’t imagine being able to cope without them ?

Why would a smoker want to give up their habit ?


Health ?
Smoking related illnesses still kills more people than the combined total of road accidents, drugs, suicides and murders in this country.


Wealth ?
The average smoker spends £2,134.00 per annum


Anti-social ?
Feeling isolated, like an outcast, fed up of having to go outside, clothes smelling, smelly ashtrays, smelly rooms, miss having fresh breath ?

Most smokers will give you one of the following, or a combination of the three reasons as to why they smoke.
1. Claiming that it calms them down and relaxes them when they are stressed.
2. Boredom.
3. Makes them feel better or more comfortable in social situations.


By understanding how the mind works we can get it working for us rather than against us. Over the years, without realising it, we have programmed our minds to react instinctively to certain triggers around cigarette smoking. Using the power of hypnosis we can quickly by-pass that programming and re-programme our minds to more beneficial and healthy responses.

This can usually be done for most people in just a couple of sessions, three at most. The sessions cost no more than any other type of therapy (£40.00 each).

If you genuinely want to give up smoking but don’t feel able too, then I can help you, and make it easy for you.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Traumas
A trauma is any event or situation that causes us to personally feel distressed. Under normal circumstances when we encounter events that upset or debilitate us they typically get better over time and become more manageable. What usually happens is that as time passes they gradually become a bit more resolved in our minds until they ultimately become what we call a narrative memory. In other words we remember all the events and exactly how we may have felt at the time, maybe hurt, angry, disappointed, hopeless, humiliated or whatever but we are no longer emotionally disabled by it any more. Sometimes for any number of reasons these painful events get stuck in our minds and are at risk of being triggered off by things we see or experience. Occasionally the trigger is so subtle that we don’t even consciously connect the trigger to the original event but end up feeling bad or emotionally disabled for a time anyway.

The most efficient, fast and permanent solution to resolving these traumas is a technique called EMDR. The reason that EMDR is so successful is due to the fact that it uses the person’s own brain and subconscious mind to resolve the issue. Given a chance the brain will set about healing itself psychologically in the same way as it aids physical recovery from the moment there is a problem.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


Trouble sleeping

Are you going to bed with multiple thoughts spinning around unresolved in your mind ?
Do you go to bed feeling tired but can’t sleep ?
Do you manage to get to sleep but wake up too early ?
Do you sleep but wake up exhausted still ?
Do you sleep for many hours but still wake up tired ?

Sleep is a perfectly natural way of refreshing the mind and body and if it is interrupted in any way we pay the price. When we are tired everything that we attempt to do seems to be so much harder. Obviously it is wise to get checked out at your GP's first to ensure that there isn’t any physical problem. Once you are sure that it is not a physical problem that is preventing you from getting a good nights rest then you know it has be a psychological one. They are usually very quick and easy to put right.

With just a couple of sessions of counselling you could quickly learn how to reset your sleeping patterns back to how they should be naturally. To kick start the natural sleeping process learn relaxation techniques with hypnosis. Also learn how to deal with any worries more efficiently so that they will no longer keep you awake.

When you have a regular healthy sleeping pattern life seems so much easier.

Considering making an appointment ?  Or need more information ?
Email or telephone Keith, details on “Fees/Contact” page.


to book an appointment call Keith or Maria
of KC Counselling on
Tel: 020 8644 3461
26 Tonfield Road, Sutton SM3 9JP
www.keithcounselling.com
   
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